Much About Nothing

Apprehension and hesitation have been my steady companions these past couple of days when I started thinking about writing a bit of unfocused satire. I realized that to say one thing, I would have to leave out a thousand things or, without exaggeration, 100 billion things. This is the dollar amount required by Dr. Evil in his quest for world domination and estimated net worth of DT. The pull of the enormous vortex called absurdity is hard to resist.

DT, the abbreviation for the combined Diphtheria-Tetanus vaccine, happens to be the initials of a vacuous individual whom I refuse to reference by name. Alas, no vaccine exists against said individual. Vaccine against vacuity, while sounding deliciously alliterative, is an oxymoron, yet another apropos-sounding word on so many levels. DT also stands for Delirium tremens, a severe form of alcohol withdrawal that involves sudden and severe mental or nervous system changes. Condition also brought on by listening to DT the individual. Stay calm and hydrate.

Allow me to quote from a tediously long and now infamous speech given on June 16, 2015, with minor modifications (italics):

"When the US sends its people (to run for the Republican presidential candidature), they're not sending their best, they're not sending you, they're sending people with lots of problems, they're sending me."

DT is indeed a public health concern. Fortunately, hot air rises and then cools down. That's how science works. If it were not the case, DT would contribute significantly to climate change, which he would then list as a proud accomplishment.

As you may have guessed from my previous missives, music's contribution to my sanity and creative process is significant. This past year, my year of nostalgia, I have searched for and downloaded a few songs that remind me of my early childhood, songs that my parents listen to when they had their fingers on the pulse of pop culture, as opposed to just taking their pulse. "Mexico" by the Les Humphries Singers was one of a handful of tunes that left an indelible mark on my young and impressionable psyche (along with "Kung Fu Fighting", "Whiter Shade of Pale" and "Smoke on the Water").

The Les Humphries Singers were a large multiethnic group and you can watch them sing here about Mexico and the war of 1840, when both Texas and California were still part of Mexico. Never forget history.

Goodbye

Don't be alarmed, I'm not going anywhere except in my own mind. Or my mind is going. I thought perhaps that a simple title might be catchy. The fact is, at the end of this year, I will be saying goodbye...to my first 50 years. Here's the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, in reverse order, since I prefer to end on a positive note. The film whose title I'm referencing was released in 1966, although I suspect but cannot substantiate that it was conceived and filmed in 1965. I want this to be a good fit with my birth year! My subconscious must have been on hyper drive when I changed my ringtone to the movie's theme song earlier this year (you must endure 15 sec of advertising but it allows you to listen to its entirety for free).
The Ugly:

• 50 years represents half a century: need I say more?
• People start asking if you'd like the senior's discount: this happened to me the other day at the cinema, and I wouldn't be sharing this if I weren't supremely self-confident about my youthful looks. To be fair, I was going to a Sunday matinee screening of The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and the teller didn't even look up at me until I said "sure, go ahead". At which point he charged me full price and issued a ticket for a different movie altogether. He had the decency to be flustered.
• In next 10 years, you will either develop a chronically treatable disease or a terminal one: yes, I'm generalizing but this is a blog, not a medical journal.

The Bad:

• You remember the name of the actor who played Wonder Woman's non-superhero partner in the original TV series (Lyle Waggoner - I kid you not, I even remembered the odd spelling) but cannot recall the name of the person who introduced her/himself for the third time.
• Aches that just won't go away.
• You can't read the fine print: you order books for the visually impaired from the library.

The Good (false truths):

• You can weed through the bullshit.
• You hear more bullshit about how great the 50's are, from people who are obviously no longer in that age group and sporting dentures: see previous bullet
• You care less or not at all about what others think: you hear this all the time but what it really means is that you've finally figured out what matters in your life and realize that your nerves just can't take it. So, what do you think about this blog post? Not that I care.

Janus

January is a curiously charged month, named after a two headed Roman deity, Janus: the god of transition. It is said that one head looked to the past while the other to the future. Now that we are well into February, at the cusp of Valentine's Day (incidentally named after a Roman, martyr no less), I thought it would be safe to look back with one of my heads. Most people have at least two - figuratively - without implications of divine powers. What we do have is memory and the ability to synthesize.

Following in the footsteps of December which is packed with various celebrations, January is a time to reflect and reboot, which is why people like to make resolutions. Until recently, my attitude towards this custom was one of cynicism and mild contempt: why do we need to assign a particular time of the year to introspection and action? I realize now that without this tradition, even less of us would try. We are after all a society of short-term memories. The Romans had it right.

Long-term memories require more work, physiologically speaking, in that they require synthesis of new proteins and the creation of new synaptic pathways. Short-term memory creation relies on existing materials. As we wander further and further away from January, the memory of why we made resolutions slowly fades. The few individuals who make the transition from short to long-term are the ones who will effect change. Society relies on this minority to evolve, which is why these changes take such a long time to occur.

I've hesitated about presenting the following example, but the memory of the unfortunate Saudi blogger being flogged for his posts is becoming a distant memory, even though he continues to receive his punishment as I write.

Children are gunned down at an elementary school in December. In January, strong cries in favor of gun control and better mental health services are heard. Politicians promise action. Two years later, mental health care continues to be underserviced although the Affordable Care Act has placed a stronger mandate on insurance companies. A dozen or so states have passed some form of gun control legislation but all the federal bills put forward have failed to pass. The gun lobby remains strong. Most people forget until the next massacre, and then they forget again. Whether you agree with this presentation of facts or not, memory manifests as a two-edged sword: our survival depends on our ability to forget while at the same time facilitating our slow demise.

Marsala necklace

Well that was cheerful. Sorry. Please forget this post. You will.

You can argue: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." (Alice Roosevelt Longworth)

I will say something nice and frivolous. Pantone's color for 2015 is Marsala. Named after a type of fortified wine, right up my alley! January should have been named Dionysary (totally made up by me) after Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of wine whose celebratory feast happened to fall somewhere between December and March. What a fortunate coincidence. Perhaps next time I will write about the 50 shades of Marsala.