Goodbye

Don't be alarmed, I'm not going anywhere except in my own mind. Or my mind is going. I thought perhaps that a simple title might be catchy. The fact is, at the end of this year, I will be saying goodbye...to my first 50 years. Here's the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, in reverse order, since I prefer to end on a positive note. The film whose title I'm referencing was released in 1966, although I suspect but cannot substantiate that it was conceived and filmed in 1965. I want this to be a good fit with my birth year! My subconscious must have been on hyper drive when I changed my ringtone to the movie's theme song earlier this year (you must endure 15 sec of advertising but it allows you to listen to its entirety for free).
The Ugly:

• 50 years represents half a century: need I say more?
• People start asking if you'd like the senior's discount: this happened to me the other day at the cinema, and I wouldn't be sharing this if I weren't supremely self-confident about my youthful looks. To be fair, I was going to a Sunday matinee screening of The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and the teller didn't even look up at me until I said "sure, go ahead". At which point he charged me full price and issued a ticket for a different movie altogether. He had the decency to be flustered.
• In next 10 years, you will either develop a chronically treatable disease or a terminal one: yes, I'm generalizing but this is a blog, not a medical journal.

The Bad:

• You remember the name of the actor who played Wonder Woman's non-superhero partner in the original TV series (Lyle Waggoner - I kid you not, I even remembered the odd spelling) but cannot recall the name of the person who introduced her/himself for the third time.
• Aches that just won't go away.
• You can't read the fine print: you order books for the visually impaired from the library.

The Good (false truths):

• You can weed through the bullshit.
• You hear more bullshit about how great the 50's are, from people who are obviously no longer in that age group and sporting dentures: see previous bullet
• You care less or not at all about what others think: you hear this all the time but what it really means is that you've finally figured out what matters in your life and realize that your nerves just can't take it. So, what do you think about this blog post? Not that I care.